Do you often find yourself asking “why is my wife not interested in me sexually?”. If yes, chances are you’re going through the wife rejection syndrome. It’s when you’re stressed out about the lack of intimacy from your wife and feel rejected all the time.
SEE ALSO: How often does a healthy couple fight?
Does it feel like your wife always has excuses, and is never in the mood?
Well, here’s the thing: you could be right, or you could be wrong. Today, right now, I’m going to help you get a better idea of why your wife is not interested in intimacy, and what to do about it.
Signs of Wife Rejection Syndrome
You’re at work, and all you could think about is having some passionate and steamy intimate moment with your wife. Your colleagues discussing their happy sex marriage, and relationships have further increased your desire.
You wish you could call sick, and go home right now, to your wife. On your way home, you pick up some of your wife’s favorite chocolates, and a bottle of wine.
That should put her in the mood, you think to yourself.
But to your disappointment, your wife gives you the red signal.
For the gazillionth time. Why? Why oh why does she do this all the time?
You begin to question and create all kinds of theories in your head about the lack of intimacy from your wife.
How many of the following statements do you often say to yourself or to others?
- My wife never initiates intimacy.
- Wife always has excuses.
- My wife rejects me all the time.
- Wife never in the mood.
- My wife has no desire for me.
And the list goes on. If you find yourself nodding your head for two or more of the statements above, you’re going through the wife rejection syndrome.
As if that’s not enough, you may have also been feeling like your wife is not sexually attracted to you anymore. But don’t jump into conclusions, just yet.
Although it’s not an official “syndrome”, it falls under a major and seriously discussed topic: sexless marriage.
What Causes lack of intimacy from the wife?
We’re going to discuss the reasons in a bit, but here’s something I want you to think about for a moment first.
Have you ever watched a video of a cute old couple who’ve been married for 40 or 60+ years?
Have you ever wondered how back in the good old days, the divorce rate was so low, and most married couples stayed happily married, and grew old together?
I think you can see where I’m heading with this.
The plain and simple reason why your grandparents stayed married and grew old together is because they always looked for reasons to make it work. Divorce was probably the last thing on their mind.
In today’s world, however, divorce is not just a matter of two people ending their marriage and walking away from each other.
It is a BIG money industry. We now have an enormous network of people working together to make people divorce rather than to help them make it work.
Men and women are constantly being trained to nitpick on every little thing that goes wrong with their marriage life.
A sexless marriage is a big deal, but the solution doesn’t have to be a divorce.
As the saying goes, where there is a will, there is a way. If you have the desire to grow old with your wife from the bottom of your heart, you will find a way to make it happen.
Yes, it may not always be possible. You may not always get the happy ending you desire, but at least you’ll know that you tried your absolute best.
Let those thoughts sink in for a moment while we move on to the next part.
3 Health Related Reasons for Wife Rejection Syndrome
Here are some possible reasons why your wife is never in the mood to have sex. Having a thorough understanding about the causes may help you when thoughts such as “My wife is not interested in intimacy”, or “My wife rejects me all the time” pop into your mind.
1: Stress & Depression
Stress, depression, and anxiety, are some of the leading causes of all kinds of relationship troubles, and they also play a huge role in sexless marriages.
Yeah right, stress…big deal, who doesn’t go through stress?
If that’s what you’re saying, no, don’t do that. Don’t be ignorant.
Stress and depression are like slow poison, and they can have a negative impact on all aspects of a person’s health. It’s a scientifically proven fact.
For instance, a 2008 study found that women who have more cortisol (Stress hormone) have low libido compared to those who have decreased cortisol level . It also states that the women who had increased stress hormone had lower scores in desire, arousal, and satisfaction.
Another big problem is that you don’t believe how serious stress and depression can be because you can’t physically see it.
Here’s what to do if you think your wife is stressed or depressed:
Observe your wife’s daily routine for a week or two. Take note of any major changes in her daily habits, especially in her social life. If she’s continuously distancing from social activities and getting irritated all the time, she might be suffering from depression or chronic stress.
The best remedy for anyone who’s going through stress and depression is to have a companion who understands you and knows how to keep a balance between offering support and giving some space to heal.
If you can tell for sure that she’s going through some kind of emotional or mental health problem, just be there for her. Offer to help with any of her chores, and show her you can understand what she’s going through.
Next, say something like “I can’t see you unhappy and stressed out like this. I want to see you happy again. Do you want to go to the doctors for a checkup?”.
This shows you care about her health and happiness more than the fact you haven’t had sex for a long time.
If she agrees, take her to the psychiatrist to find out exactly what went wrong, and to take appropriate treatments for it.
A short weekend getaway or a week vacation to another country would also make a huge difference. Ask her about it when you see her in a fairly good mood.
PCOS stands for the polycystic ovarian syndrome. Millions of women suffer from it, and guess what?
It often goes undiagnosed or diagnosed late because many women don’t consider their symptoms serious enough to tell a doctor about until they have trouble conceiving.
Why are we talking about PCOS out of all the million other health conditions?
Because it’s a women-specific health disorder that often goes undiagnosed, and it can lower libido in women.
Here are some signs to tell if your wife has PCOS:
- Irregular periods, or no periods.
- Haven’t been able to conceive for over 2 years despite actively trying.
- Excessive hair growth – thick and coarse hair growth on the face and body parts like chest.
- Unexplained weight gain- Does it look like she’s suddenly putting on a lot of weight?
- Thinning hair.
As you can see, most women won’t consider these symptoms as a health concern until they’re trying to have a baby. Thus a lot of women get diagnosed late.
Women with PCOS have greater chances of suffering from sexual dysfunction such as lower sexual desire . So if your wife has PCOS, it could be one of the reasons why she never initiates intimacy.
What to do if you think she has PCOS:
There are currently no cures for the polycystic ovarian syndrome, but treatments are available to eliminate symptoms. If diagnosed with PCOS, the doctor will find out exactly what her symptoms are, and offer lifestyle changes tips, and medications to treat her symptoms.
The treatment for someone wanting to lose weight will be different from someone who wants to get pregnant or just increase their sexual desire.
But the good news is that if her lower libido is a result of PCOS, the doctor can, and will give appropriate medications to help her with that.
However, you can’t just go up to her and say something like “Let’s go to the doctors, I think you have PCOS”.
No. You tell her when you hear her complaining about any of the symptoms too often.
You could say something like “I googled your symptoms, and it looks like you might have PCOS because a lot of women who have it don’t know they do until they’re trying for a baby”.
The point is, you’ve to tell her in a way it shows that you care about her, not you.
3: Thyroid problems
Similar to PCOS we discussed above, thyroid disorders may also go undiagnosed until symptoms get worse. There are two types of thyroid disorders:
- Hypothyroidism: This is when the thyroid gland produces too much thyroid hormone.
- Hyperthyroidism: This is when the thyroid gland produces too little thyroid hormone.
Both types can cause mild-severe health consequences if left untreated for a long time. As for the topic we’re discussing, both hypo and hyperthyroidism can lower libido in women, and taking appropriate treatment can make a huge difference .
What to do if you think your wife has thyroid problems:
You do exactly what we advised about the PCOS. Research about the symptoms of both types of thyroid problems, and see if your wife has two or more of the listed symptoms.
Tell her about the condition in a way she knows you’re trying to help her.
A sexless marriage can be frustrating and stressful for both men and women, but it doesn’t have to end in a divorce. There could be many reasons why your wife has lower libido and rejects intimacy all the time.
In this article, we’ve discussed 3 possible health-related reasons for lower libido that are more common in women. As stated earlier, a lot of women with PCOS and thyroid problems don’t know they have it until the symptoms get worse.
If you think your wife has any of those conditions, you need to tell her about it in a way she sees that you care about her. In the next article, we’ll be discussing physical attraction in marriage, and what to do if you feel that your wife is not attracted to you anymore.