What you’re going through right now is unimaginable pain.
It’s not a scar on your skin to heal with an ointment, but a scar on your heart.
A scar on your trust.
A scar on the love you’ve shared with your partner all these months or years.
Don’t forget to read: 10 common reasons why married men cheat
Don’t expect those who’ve never been in your situation to understand your pain.
But listen, you will eventually heal and recover from this pain of being cheated on.
You’ve already taken the first step to fix your broken relationship.
The fact you still want to stay together says it all.
But it’s easier said than done, so here are some things you can do to get your relationship back on track.
Step 1: Respect your emotions.
You’ve just been torn apart by the person who claimed to love you.
The one you considered as your soul mate all these years.
Respect yourself and value your emotions enough to understand that your pain will not heal overnight.
It’s not as simple as reading or watching a motivational speech and decided to go about your day like nothing ever happened.
Excuse yourself from everyone if you feel the need to be alone.
Or be with someone whom you can cry your heart on.
But what matters is that you express your emotions.
Cry like there’s no tomorrow if you feel the need to.
Talk to God, to yourself, or someone and drop your burden.
Step 2: Figure out the Whys
Why do you still want to be with this person after they cheated on you?
And no, it cannot be something as simple as “because I can’t imagine my life without him or her.”
There’s got to be more to this.
Without delay, go to a place where you can breathe some fresh air and have some solitary moment.
It can be your backyard, your local park in the morning, the beach, you decide.
Go there and sit.
Breathe in the fresh air and tune in with nature for some time.
Once you feel a little bit relaxed, start questioning yourself why this man or woman in your life deserves a second chance in your life.
Or do they even deserve it?
Task: On a piece of paper, write down at least ten things that you’d miss about your partner if they were to vanish from your life suddenly.
IMPORTANT: It shouldn’t be something related to their appearance but only things they did for you and your relationship.
And it shouldn’t be anything they did before you got into your relationship because everyone does that.
Have they ever made any sacrifices (big and small) for your relationship?
How has this person contributed to your relationship?
As you write down each thing, take a moment to think if it was done from the heart or just something they did to impress you at the time.
Question: What if you find yourself in a situation where you have absolutely nothing good to say about your partner?
If they’ve never done anything good for you or your relationship and they’ve only ever done things to hurt you, then you need to reconsider your plan of wanting to stay.
Step 3: Two-way process.
As much as you want to stay with your “other half” after being cheated on, remember that “it takes two hands clapping to make a noise.”
Hopefully, your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is also regretting their actions to the core and wishing they could press a rewind back button.
Because your intention might not work if they don’t have the intention of staying with you.
So that’s what you need to find out first.
When you’ve taken enough time to calm down from your emotions and figured out your whys from step 2, it’s time to find out if your partner is genuinely regretting their infidelity and still hoping to be with you.
- Put your detective hat on to find out if your partner has lust or love for the person they cheated you with.
- Was it just a moment of falling for temptation or is it serious to the point they’d plan to start a relationship together?
- Is he or she begging for your mercy and showing genuine intentions to make things work out again?
- Was it the first ever time they cheated on you or is it something you’ve gotten used to?
Do your research and answer those questions.
If this man or woman has cheated more than once, they’re likely to repeat and waste your life, in which case it’s not worth sticking with them in the long run.
If it was a one-time thing and something they did out of pure lust, chances are higher for them to regret their actions, especially if their inner “love” for you beats out the lust.